Q: Hi, nice to meet you again! How are you?
A: Don’t pretend to be formal. We meet each other and talk about millions of things everyday.
Q: Alright, would you like to choose our topic for today?
A: My pleasure. Politics! Chow Chow, in detail.
Q: What? Who?
A: What what? Who who? You gave me freedom of choice then you astounded! Anyway, this is a global matter and I have something in my mind. Then you’ll understand who’s who as well.
Q: Okay. As I haven’t prepared for it, please tell me something in general first.
A: Let me have some notes to avoid misunderstandings between us:
1. I’m a “political atheist”, I don’t support any politician but I’m respectful;
2. The emerging problems considered as Chow Chow’s faults by people don’t impact directly on me;
3. I do think about international issues but I care much more for my personal life;
4. I love peace;
5. All my answers will be superficial basing on my modest knowledge in this field;
6. The only purpose is to explain why I don’t feel surprised or shocked against what has happened recently;
7. … and so on. I promise to answer frankly all your questions about that.
Q: What do you think of Chow Chow? If 10 is the highest score, how many points would you give him?
A: I prefer qualitative to quantitative assessments and I usually like to talk about positive aspects though I still see some negative angles in an object. A simple score may deflect flows of thought.
Q: If you were American, who would you have voted president?
A: Well, it’s not an easy question. It’s a radical problem. I feel so pity that there were only Chow Chow and Pig Tail to go to the final debates. I had waited for someone different. Those two choices could have made me hesitate, so let’s consider that it would have been an abstention from me.
Q: For what reasons do you think Chow Chow won?
A: In a country where the entertainment industry and other ones dominate all the world, where craziness, uniqueness, strategy… are the factors that lead to success, nothing is impossible. For example, beside analisis from experts, I think one of the reasons for which he won is his family. A big contribution for the election results was from the fans of each member of his family, who looks cute, beautiful, handsome, successful,… It can be supposed that, when the son/daughter is liked, the possibility to vote for his/her father is very high. It wouldn’t be totally absurd if Kris Jenner wins the title “President of Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences” instead of Meryl Streep. From the other part, the image of Pig Tail is too familiar, too old, too “tiring”… that they have seen for years. I heard that a lot of people blame this result for the electoral college system, but I think they should have organized demonstrations against it long before, not after. Let’s consider it as a football league, A scored more goals than B but B still won the title because B obtained the highest total point. Then this ceremony was reported to have less part takers than Bam’s and the world ironized him, but maybe it happened because of the rain, of the concern to worsen the relationship with their family, friends or colleagues… in short, there are a lot of reasons that can be given, but does anyone think that there were more protesters because democratic political party supporters are more aggressive? In fact, Chow Chow won and nobody can show proves that it was election fraud. He had many people by his side as well, though not as numerous as Pig Tail’s, they need to be respected too.
Q: Don’t you like Pig Tail?
A: I don’t allow myself to have negative sentiments towards her since I don’t know much about her, I even haven’t read any of her books. I just don’t like the way she debated against him, with a contemptuous attitude as if she would surely win.
Q: What do you think about Chow Chow’s speech in the presidential inauguration ceremony?
A: When watching that live ceremony, I understood every sentence in his speech immediately with my limited English. It’s a very important leadership quality to make as many people who belong to different cultural levels/backgrounds understand the message as possible. Some spelling or grammatical mistakes that don’t distort the content is a tiny problem, he isn’t a professional writer nor verbalist. His job is to improve American people’s life conditions and “make America great again” by foreign and domestic policies and so on; composing deep, touching, marvelous words,… is not a compulsory requirement, not to mention many leaders only read what their secretary prepares for. Simply be coherent: just don’t tell people that you are what you really aren’t, that you didn’t do what you really did. This is only my first thought about it, maybe I will have more detailed comments when I’m less busy, for example I note that he didn’t use “USA” but just “America”, he also thanked the former First Lady, an action that only few (or none) previous presidents had done in the past (however, he only thanked them for “their gracious aid throughout this transition”, not for what they had built for their country and the other ones during 8 years – a bluntly expression instead of ungracious attitude with hateful glances)…
Q: Again, if you were American, what would you do now?
A: I don’t know but I’m sure that I wouldn’t protest nor insult him. Those actions are like waving a red scarf before the eyes of a mad gaur. He loves to show off his opinion and his power, the more fiercely people provoke, the stronger he reacts. They can use law to fight against law, power against power but people against people that way is a bad solution.
Q: If you could tell them something, what would it be?
A: He is an icon for a half (or even two thirds) of the world to satirize, ironize or insult… I don’t try to defend his bad character, I just feel happy for those who can take it as a kind of entertainment; however, I hope that from that “villain”, with their true talent, they can teach themselves or others not to copy, repeat or follow what he’s said and done, otherwise it’s nonsensical to libel him and it’s a waste of time for them, as well as a waste of “exemplary bad figures” for him. Nobody’s perfect, and please note that these defects are visible, the more dangerous ones are usually hidden.
Q: Would you boycott any product/ service/ trademark… of Chow Chow’s family?
A: I don’t think it’s a good idea. They gain money from different businesses, if your money doesn’t enter some of their doors, the other ones will be opened more widely. Just imagine that they gain money from rich people who gain money from you: then you still pay them indirectly! To treat his daughter’s business badly is not a good choice; I have a feeling that she’s the one he loves the most in this world and she can be a sweet “weapon” to calm her father down. It’s ridiculous that also Ralph Lauren became a victim; people consider Chow Chow as a sexist, a racist…, but what they call their unfair judgement towards that designer and his creativity?
Q: If you were someone more powerful than him, what would you do?
A: I would apply soft tactics instead of causing stressful situations; but frankly speaking, if I can show you clearly what to do, I wouldn’t have to stay in a small corner to write these lines now!
Q: Do you have something in common with him?
A: Ahaha, we were born in the year of Dog!
Q: You mean you two have a lot of similar characteristics shown in Asian Horoscope?
A: No way, just kidding. In fact, we have a same feature that dogs don’t have: arrogance and narcissism. It’s distinguished by how and on what we express.
Q: The press certainly tells me about his arrogance better than you do, so I would like to ask you about yours!
A: Are you pushing me to wash dirty linen in public? I only promised you to answer your questions about him. Uhm,… for our fabulous relationship, I’ll tell you about the first thing that comes to my mind, okay? I prefer to wash dirty linen in the dark. Oh hell, no, I don’t have any dirty linen, I always keep them clean. Do you know why I don’t usually go to the hairdresser? One, I like natural hair; two, I don’t like to be touched by a stranger. You can call it something-ist.
Q: If Charles Aznavour or Adele want to embrace you, would you let them do that?
A: Oh Gosh, sure! They already made me feel touched and conquered my soul. I had my hair dyed once because I admire that expert who has 30 years of color experience in famous international haircare trademarks. But I still haven’t thought about having it for the second time. See the difference?
Q: … and how about the differences between you and Chow Chow?
A: The biggest one is, whatever I do, I’ll never let any intellectual insult any member of my family.
Q: Are you afraid of the future that Chow Chow would bring to the world?
A: No, I’m not. He’s not a dictator, behind him is his team; the Constitution also has the Legislative, the Judicial and so on, that control and influence each other. I never underestimate the political system of a country so powerful like that.
Q: What do you think about his immigration ban or Mexico wall?
A: No comment. I’m just asking myself how many individuals in the world are willing to open the door of his house to everyone among which there are potential dangers. If America opens the door for all, they have to spend more time and money on the check-in process, security and other problems, while their first priority is to ensure a good life for their own citizens. This ban seems to be absurd and unfair, but think about the reason why they don’t ban our compatriots, from a poorer country than the banned ones, then America is not a unique destination to reach. They still have many opening doors to choose!
Q: That doesn’t convince me much…
A: Which one do you prefer: quantity or quality? Are you happy that our people complain about the neighboring country but still buy their cheap goods everyday? Are you happy for a place where millions of low-cost workers from other provinces come to work for low-quality mass production or to serve people for the most simple things, to have bad living conditions, to burden the city with traffic, pollution, society’s vices… Are you happy when you are having a meal, a series of people approach you to invite you to buy chewing-gum, cotton swab, cigarette, fruits, to ask you for alms, shoeshine,… or deafen you with their songs just to earn some pennies? Are you happy to see a wife who goes abroad to work hard and sends money to her husband who spends all on gamble or other women? Are you happy when you have equivalent qualifications but you are unemployed because other people require lower salary? Are you happy to snoop or to be snooped? Similarly, don’t try to blame America; it’s better to ask their own countries to care for them.
Q: You come from another province, too.
A: It’s true, but I have found suitable jobs with a suitable salary for a suitable life. My parents gave me a moderate amount of money when I studied at the university but after that, I have swam all by myself and I’m not in debt with anyone. So I feel okay not to live in my hometown and not to make a bad impression on the cities where I’m living in or I have been.
Q: I know you won’t tell me about macro solution that you may imagine, but please tell me what is your personal ones.
A: The simplest ones is not to buy unnecessary things, improve self-service,… in short, consume less, entertain less but enjoy more.
Q: It’s truly short. Can you tell something else?
A: Don’t only see that previous answer for your question. Be more active, more patient if you want to understand me better.
Q: What do you really hope for your country in particular and for the world in general? You’re aren’t so indifferent that ignore what happens to many people.
A: I have a sea of wishes, and from the bottom of my heart, the biggest one is no war and no pollution. Goodbye for now, see you in our next monologue!